Can't you mess up?
“What if you really messed up there? What if you did something you might regret for a long time? What if you really ruined things?”
Do you ever get thoughts like that? Maybe after you make a significant decision which can’t be reversed?
These thoughts can be terrifying. When they come up, you might jump to conjure up a new thought to counter them. It’s an effective strategy.
And you might get quite good at it. You might have your usual set of mantras, motivations and very good reasons which you rush to like a drowing man rushes to a lifebuoy.
Isn’t it interesting though, how quickly you deploy your defense? You can’t stand to feel that creeping dread. It threatens to negate the story you want to tell yourself and the world.
Your comforting thoughts could very well be right. But do you ever wonder how it would feel if you just stopped needing to maintain your story, both for yourself and others?
Can you imagine, how it might feel if next time, instead of fighting unpleasant thoughts with comforting thoughts, you just said to yourself:
“So what? What if I did really mess up? What if I did do something I’ll regret? What if I did really ruin something?”
“Do I have permission? Am I expected to get through this life without making any big mistakes?”
And sink into that feeling. Allow yourself to feel what it feels like to be human being who makes a big mistake.
I’m not saying you choose to believe that you did in fact mess up.
I’m just saying you can relax trying so hard to banish the thought.
Can’t you mess up?